The numbness held me...

It was not merely a phsyical deprivation, but a mental block as well.
I couldn't feel...
I couldn't think...
I was only barely aware of my own breathing...
All I could do was focus on a fleeting thought. Somehow, I was still alive...

I saw nothing, heard nothing. felt nothing, tasted nothing, existed only as nothing... But then, this feeling was not unfamiliar. I had floated in limbo for as long as I could possibly remember. A minute? A year? An aeon? There was no comfort, yet no pain. No happiness, yet no sadness...I was unaware of my existence, yet aware that I existed.

Sometimes, things would appear. Strange images. Sometimes blurred, sometimes vivid, all forgotten instantly. I could not understand or attempt to remember what I saw. Each one sent a twinge of recognition and regret through me. I was a world of endless, meaningless opposites, yet somewhere, deep down, was a tiny spark of something that called itself hope. A will to comprehend and understand everything that haunted me. For untold amounts of time, I simply existed, drifting...

My eyes shot open. I convulsed and wretched violently in excruciating pain. I was held down. I couldn't move! It crawled all over me, burning my flesh like a thousand internal fires, wrenching at my body and soul with it's lust to take, to control! I screeched again and again, helpless in my all-consuming agony, repeatedly forcing air through my throat, a tunnel of fire and stone! I heard myself screech, felt my pain! Blood - everywhere! Metal - everywhere! Darkness - everywhere! Confusion! Pain! Why? How? Something tore at my body, repeatedly, voraciously! Raw physical pain beyond imagination surging through what remained of me, as if my body itself was tearing itself to shreds, as if my blood was boiling from my veins! It tore at my mind with razor claws of pure hatred and anger! It wouldn't stop! Why did I deserve such torture?!

"Second stage beginning. Terazine. Administer...Now!"
Sudden, sweet release. Pain...gone... Self...restored? I spent another billion years in a meaningless, painless white rift…

My eyes, sore and bleary, crept open, lazily... the barest amount... I could make out white shapes...through a groggy haze... My body and mind remained without awareness, without feeling... I began to hear...words... words that I could hear, recognise and remember, but not understand...
"...and the heart rate looks normal. Blood pressure levelling off. I think it might just make it, Doctor."
"Are you certain? It was touch and go for a while there. Four cardiac arrests, a severe brain trauma... It certainly smells dead!"
"I think the drugs and AI elements are repairing the damage to it's brain quite effectively, Doctor. It's internals seem to be patching themselves up again as well."
"When do you expect it to regain awareness?"
"Possibly in a day or two. I think it's still trying to reject the compounds...wait...readings! it's awake! Should I administer a sedative, Doctor?"
"No. It's harmless. We need to give it a little time to recover from the drugs.”
One of the blurry shapes came closer to my vision. White and pink - still a meaningless, pointless wash of colour.
"My my, I must say we've done a damn good job if it survives. All the planned developments are complete, and there appear to be no major deformities..."
A third voice. "Doctor Onslo! Commander McRae has filled out the consent forms for the operation to go ahead. He requests it be done as soon as possible, but I see you're busy. Should I tell him to wait?”
"No Michelle, I'll go and meet him now. Assistant, I'm leaving you in charge of Blackbird for now. Keep an eye on the subject for me and sedate it a little. I'll be back in a few hours. You know the drill."
Something made me feel even more pathetic and limp than I already did, and I had no options but to resign myself. The white shapes, and their intriguing voices, were gone. Everything was a black haze... Unable to sense, I turned to my mind for answers.

Nothing... sweet nothing...

Sleep was the only place for me now...

-----

Calm...Nothing...

Moderate potentially critical damage detected. Applying Stimulus.

Pain! Searing pain! Something...in me! What?!

My eyes shot open. Now, I could see. All of a sudden, I could control myself, feel my own heartbeat and breath... feel my pain. The pain! A long, thin shaft of metal was stabbed right through me below and slightly to the side of my face.  I subconsciously took hold of the metal shaft, and wrenched it from my shoulder, crying out at a sudden bolt of agony that speared me like a lance. I could hear dripping, nothing but an eerie, rhythmatic drip, drop of water. I was weak, but seemingly no longer helpless. Sprawled in an untidy mess on a metal corridor floor. A single light flickered weakly, illuminating my prone form and the debris surrounding me. I was bleeding. I might have been dying. No, I should. But I wasn't. I was alive. I could see, I could feel and sense. Something smelt rank. Like salt, rotting meat and blood...

Situation unconfirmed. Exploration is advised. Caution suggested.

I willed myself to roll over and get up. I didn't need to think about it.  I planted one foot shakily on the floor, then the other, gradually standing. My right arm was limp, and blood seeped from the impalement wound in my shoulder. Was I...supposed to have shoulders like this? I still didn't know where, or what I was. All I knew now was that I was alive, and in pain... trapped in a world of water, twisted metal, and light only knew what else... I clutched the bloody metal rod to my breast, as if it was my only companion.

Reliance on inanimate object acceptable. Object sound. Usable as weapon for self-defence.

I took a shaky step forward, relying on my toes to support my weight. I ached all over, numbness enveloping me like a robe. I was something I shouldn't be. I knew that, but was too agonised to care about what I was. Slowly, I made my way down the deserted, ruined corridor under faint, flickering fluorescent lights, supporting myself with a hand against the wall, which itself was torn and broken almost to the point of collapse.

Structure is unsound. Continuation to more stable areas strongly advised.

I came to a turn in the corridor. This led to a long tunnel that seemed to be made almost entirely of glass. I made my way round the corner and into the corridor, looking into the glass. I could see fish there. Could it be...underwater? I moved my head slightly so that I could see my reflection. The face, the beak and eyes I saw were undoubtedly mine, yet... Large horns surmounted my head. My feathers were sleek and black, coming to several spiked points behind my head and back, and at my wrists. My reflection stood out sharply against the blue of the water beyond the glass. Jet black, smooth silver... My hand claws were long and slender, foot talons keen and curved. Thin, glinting blades extended backward from my wrists. My legs seemed normal… but were attached to hips that seemed almost to be made of metal, yet were pockmarked by thick black cables, which themselves visibly pulsed as only Light-knew-what flowed through them. An enormous, wide tail reached from my hips almost to the ground, seemingly made of a similar organic metal. It comprised three enormous silver feathers, connected by a thin, slightly elastic colourless membrane. My entire body seemed to glisten softly. I was no longer a creature crafted by nature. Was I even myself any more?

I hated this terrible, monstrous body. And yet, my only companions were the dripping of water, and the far-off creak of metal. Nobody...nothing...not a scrap of existance that could possibly help me understand. My only link to the world a rod of blood-splattered steel, which I held to my breast as if it's coldness would somehow warm my soul.

Overreliance on inanimate object not advisable.

I made my way down the corridor, trying to ignore the monster I had become. Trying to find purpose among my feelings. Trying to ignore the methodical, logical voice which always deemed nescessary to chip into my thoughts. I was a creature of destruction. Of evil. A weapon. But why? What had I done to deserve this...? Who had taken me and corrupted my innocence? I was still in pain, both physical and mental, staggering and slightly disorientated, but it seemed to be improving. I was no longer gasping for breath. My wound seemed to have closed up by itself and was no longer oozing blood. What blood had left it had clotted into powdery purple scabs, mottling the feathers on my chest. Was it...normal, to heal so quickly? But then, nothing seemed to be normal here. But then...who was I to define normality? I glanced at the rod of metal. The solidifying fluid covering it crisscrossed beautiful patterns of purple down it's length. This was my blood. For want of another being, this fragment of my self would serve as a companion for now.

I entered a room, a wide, open affair that was just as deserted and eerily quiet as the corridor. Various trivial objects floated in knee-deep water just down a ramp.  I clutched the metal shaft to my breast, my only assurance that I was indeed alive, and was not merely dreaming weak fantasies. The water gave me an unpleasant, crawling feeling, and for some reason I immediately wanted to be clear of it. Quickly wading through the water, up another ramp and into a new corridor, I found this one was seemingly in better condition .. Maybe this area of...wherever I was...Was not as badly affected by whatever had happened…